ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
