I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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