I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
