I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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