it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
