I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
