So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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