I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
