In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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