I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
