Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
