member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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