Don't make out with my wife yet
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
