Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
