My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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