I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you had me at cake vodka
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
