look no pants
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
