He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
