Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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