So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
