New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
