Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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