Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
worst night to have a conscience
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
