just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
