i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
