whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
