I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
