Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We were destined to go to rehab together
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
