Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
