Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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