I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
