I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
