these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
