kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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