Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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