fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
