im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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