she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
