new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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