Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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