Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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