I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
