god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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