New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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