You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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