seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
