good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
