so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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