shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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