Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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