It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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