Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
