About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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