I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
