well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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