make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
