that's an acceptable place to lick
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
