Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
