I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
