At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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