Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
They took my balls.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
