Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
