I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Randomize
